canned thoughts

In a beautiful Sunday morning, a wedding is taking place in the solemn Church of St. John. White and red roses and lilies flourished the area with purity and beauty while a string quartet filled the air with their romantic music.

All eyes are focused on Melissa. She’s breathtaking in her white dress. Her tears start to make its way at the corners of her eyes as she slowly walks towards the aisle. This was the day that she’s been dreaming of since she was a little girl. At the end of the aisle stands the man she loves more than anything in this world. There is the man whom she wants to spend her whole life with.

That man is Carlo. 

Melissa and Carlo are soul mates. Since the day they met back in high school, they have been happily together as friends and eventually as lovers. The years have nourished and strengthen their relationship with unconditional love and trust. Together, they have grown into great individuals living their lives to the fullest and loving each other more than yesterday.

Now that they’ve come of age, it’s time for them to seal their love forever in the bounds of marriage. Melissa would always remember the day Carlo proposed to her. Somehow she was expecting it but there is nothing like the real thing. For her, there was nothing like having the man you truly love offers his life and his future with her.

As she walks slowly down the aisle, Melissa looks at Carlo from afar and she remember vividly how her fairy tale started: with a phone call from him on one quiet evening.

"Baby, I need your help. My car just broke and I’m stuck here in Antipolo."

"What?! What are you doing in Antipolo?"

"I had a conference here this afternoon. Didn’t I tell you?"

"You never told me anything about Antipolo. You sure you came from a conference there?"

"C’mon, Baby. I’m stuck here in the middle of nowhere and it’s getting late."

"Ok. I’ll call you when I’m there."

As Melissa drove quickly from Makati to Antipolo, her mind was playing with her. She knows that she’s quite the jealous type. Even though Carlo and her have been together for several years, she still can’t seem to completely trust him. She also knows that he’s been faithful to her for she was his first and last girlfriend. But she still can’t understand why she still feels insecure. 

Just like this instance, she still cannot believe that Carlo went to Antipolo for an alleged conference without telling her.

Melissa arrived at Antipolo at around nine in the evening. Carlo told her to meet him in a local restaurant for he was hungry and quite tired. Anger starts to boil inside her, as she seem cannot find him inside the restaurant. Then a waiter accompanied her to him. What happened next was something she would treasure forever.

Inside an open cottage overlooking the metropolis, a candlelight dinner for two awaits her. White and red rose petals are scattered everywhere. And there was Carlo, standing from afar, smiling at her.

"What’s this," Melissa asked Carlo.

"A surprise."

"I’m still mad at you. You never told me anything about your conference."

"Baby, I have a confession to make. There was no conference. I just made everything up."

"You do know that I was worried and I drove all the way from Makati to Antipolo."

"Yes, I do know that."

"So why do you have to make me do all of those if you could just asked me out in the first place?"

"We have been going out for several years already and I want this night to be different."

"And why?"

"Because of this."

Carlo knelt in front of Melissa, brought out a small box from his pocket, opened it and gave her the ring inside.

"Baby, since the day we’ve met, I never saw myself living my life with someone else. I am happy with you in my life and I wanna continue my life with you. Will you marry me?"

"Oh Baby! I don’t know what to say."

"You could say yes?"

"Of course! I love you!"

That was the happiest day of Melissa’s life. She believed she couldn’t be happier. She cannot ask for anything more in her life. She has a successful career as a department manager of an advertising firm and has an engagement to the one man she has loved all her life, not to mention having a loving and supporting family. What more could she ask?

Perhaps a happy ending.

Every time something great happens to Melissa, especially something massive such a wedding proposal, there is one person that Melissa informs first, her younger sister, Marianne. There isn’t a secret that the two never shared with each other. From their first crushes, their first kisses, their first loves, their first heartbreaks, they always tell each other and swear never to tell others.

But there was one secret, one sister keeps from the other.

The two sisters are quite similar on the outside, having those gorgeous almond eyes and stunning figures to die for. But on the inside, they are complete opposites. While Melissa is idealistic, career-oriented, and nice, Marianne is realistic, carefree and stubborn. While Melissa has become successful in every aspect of her life, Marianne has been struggling with hers. Despite their differences, they had maintained a strong bond through the years, having each other’s back. Melissa has always been the older sister that guides Marianne to the right decisions, while Marianne has always been the younger sister that stays with Melissa through the tough times. They are more than sisters. They are best friends. 

Somewhere in the wedding, Marianne also stood beautifully in her white dress. She looks at her sister, and all this time, she still envies her. She remembers vividly how her sister called her on her mobile phone and told her about her wedding.

"Marianne, I’m getting married," Melissa spoke in joyous hysteria.

"What? With whom?"

"With whom? Are you drunk? Of course with Carlo, silly!"

"Really?! When did he propose to you?"

"Just right now. He’s even on his knees and I’m holding a super nice ring!"

"Finally, after ten years, your boyfriend decides to commit suicide."

"You’re so mean!"

"Hahaha! I’m just kidding! Congratulations, Sis!" 

"I want you to be my maid-of-honor."

"Really?"

"You’re really drunk, aren’t ya? There’s no one in the world that I would like to be my maid-of-honor but my stubbornly-cute sister."

"Thanks, Sis."

As Melissa ended her call and savored the moment with Carlo, on the other hand, Marianne stares blankly while still holding her mobile phone. She knew this day would come. But it turned out that how much she had prepared and anticipated this dreaded moment, it would still sting her, still hurt her, still burn her. She thinks of Carlo, the man that her sister loved all her life, the man that her sister would be marrying, the man that her sister would be spending her life with.

And he was also the man she secretly adores.

Right after the proposal, the couple prepared for their wedding in less than six months. But due the nature of her work, Melissa wasn’t able to focus entirely on the preperations while Carlo filed a leave of absence at his office to tend to the wedding. Ironically, Marianne accepted the task of being their wedding planner. From the wedding date, the guests, church and reception, attires, invitations, flowers, and souvenirs, she chose everything for the couple. Having similar taste with her sister, she meticulously took care of every detail, like it was her own ceremony.

As the wedding draws near, the emotional burden begins to make its toll to her, making her both depressed and desperate.

She hopelessly believed that it was her own wedding that was happening, and she prayed every night that she’s the one who would walk the aisle with Jason.

She didn’t know that Fate was listening at her.

Back at the wedding, Carlo looks at the woman that is walking down the aisle. He stares at Melissa, the woman she truly adores. Since the day he met her up until this very moment, he still feels that unexplainable, warm and joyous feeling every time he sees her. There hasn’t been any woman that made him feel as such. And his life has never been happier ever since. Soon, he will be a married man. The long wait will finally be over. He should be completely happy.   

As he stood at the end of the aisle waiting for her bride, he remembered vividly the day he was torn between the two sisters. He remembered the day Marianne told him how much she loves him.

It was barely three months, halfway through the wedding preparations. After a busy day tending to the wedding preparations with Melissa, he dropped her at her place and drove straight home. He arrived late in the evening and found Marianne, infront of his house, standing alone and waiting for him with tear-stained eyes.

"You all right," Carlo called Marianne as he quickly ran to her side.

"We need to talk."

"It’s quite late. I’ll drop you home."

"Please Carlo, hear me."

"Ok. I’m listening. Let’s go inside. It’s quite cold here."

"You’re not getting me, Carlo. This is hopeless. I shouldn’t have gone here on the first place."

As she turned her back at him and starts to walk away, he reaches for her hand and stopped her. Tears start to fall again from her eyes as she felt for the first time he finally noticed her existence.

"I can’t do this anymore," Marianne pleaded to Carlo.

"Do what?"

"Seeing you with Melissa is painful already. But going through with your wedding with her is killing me. I rather stab myself with a knife than to lose you completely to someone who stole my life."

"I don’t understand."

"All my life I live under Melissa’s shadow. She’s the responsible daughter, the kind friend, the successful sister, and the perfect lover. She’s everything I dream to be. And she’s everything I am not. I’ve tried to be as responsible, as kind, and as successful as she is, but I’ve long realized that I just can’t do all of those. But as a perfect lover, Carlo, I know I could be better than her. I’m willing to give up everything for the man I truly love."

"…"

"I love you, Carlo. I’ve always loved you. Since the day I met you, I knew you were a great man. Unfortunately, I also knew you were madly in love with my sister. You were always there for Melissa, through the good and the bad times. And if there was one thing I would want the most in this world, it would be having someone that would treat me like that, that would see me beyond my blemishes, that would love me unconditionally."

"I don’t know what to say."

"…"

Out of nowhere, Marianne gave Carlo a long, passionate kiss. As their lips were sealed, Carlo’s mind was racing. This shouldn’t be happening. It was Melissa whom he loves, but here he was, with Marianne. He shouldn’t be kissing her. He shouldn’t be enjoying their kiss. But deep down inside him, he couldn’t deny that their stolen moment was blissful, if not more heavenly than anything he ever felt with Melissa.

The Sunday morning was a real beauty, as a wedding takes place in the solemn Church of St. John. White and red roses flourished the area with purity and beauty while a string quartet filled the air with their romantic music.

All eyes are focused on Melissa. She’s breathtaking in her white dress. Her tears start to fall from her eyes as she reached the aisle. This was the day that she’s been dreaming of since she was a little girl. Infront of her stood the man she loved more than anything in this world. Within her reach was the man whom she wanted to spend her whole life with.

That man was Carlo. 

As the two lovers stood infront of the altar and faced each other, they couldn’t deny how much they hoped for this day to come. They both wanted to savor every moment. They wanted to be real happy for they still believed that their love story is bound to end this way, infront of the altar.

Unfortunately, that’s the closest thing to a happy ending their love story could get: only infront of the altar. 

Melissa couldn’t save herself from her own tears. She desperately wished those were tears of joy she was shedding. But the truth was both too powerful and painful for her to deny. She could have run far away prior to the wedding but she chose to be there. She was there, not for Carlo, but for someone else who needed it the most. After all, it was supposedly her wedding.

Carlo searched hopelessly for the right words to say at Melissa. He even wanted to embrace her, to kiss her, to feel her loving presence once again. But the truth was both too powerful and painful for him to deny. He could have run far away prior to the wedding but he chose to be there. He was there, not for anyone else but for the one woman he loves the most, Melissa. After all, it was supposedly his wedding.

Their fairy tale finally ended as they both woke up from their delusions and faced reality. Melissa regained her strength to leave the altar, for it wasn’t her place at that wedding. She gave one last glance at Carlo and walked to her designated seat. As for Carlo, he turned his eyes away from her and looked at the woman walking down the aisle.

There was his bride, Marianne.

As the couple exchanged their vows, Marianne couldn’t also stop herself from crying. She should be vindicated; now that she got one thing her sister wanted the most. She should be happy; now that she got the man she truly loves. But she knows to herself that she could never completely have Carlo, for he left his heart to Melissa. On the other hand, Carlo prevented himself from shedding any tears, or showing any emotions at all. But there was one thing he couldn’t save himself from: his own guilt.

As for Melissa, she wished this wedding to push through, not for Marianne, Carlo, or for herself. But for someone who would see the world eight months after this ceremony. This wedding was for her niece, Marianne’s unborn daughter.

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